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Um, trigger warnings below. Why? Depression. Fucking depression.
Hi sweetie pies! I’ve been absent. Yep. Here’s why: I got to a point the other morning when I realized that I need more help for this depression than I’ve been getting. I reached out for help, and am starting an intensive Outpatient Day Hospital Program tomorrow. That will mean early mornings, no work for a few weeks, and 7 hours of therapy/psychiatrist visits Mon-Fri for a bit. Not sure for how long and all of that good stuff—I just know that I’m not okay. I desperately want to be okay. I haven’t been myself for over a month, and that’s more than long enough.
So. Tomorrow. I’m scared and nervous and all of that stuff…BUT, I also want to keep fighting. I just need more support than bi-weekly visits with a therapist and Dr. I need a team. One that grabs me by the shoulders and leads me in the way of recovery. I have tried the best I can on my own, and know that I need to call out the troops.
I’ll be around. Keep everything crossed for me? If I could press a magic button, and just be better? I so would. But, I can’t. The work begins tomorrow, man, I can’t wait to be back.